Why I Love You

A Shugo Chara Fanfiction
Summary
A one-shot about why Utau loves Ikuto. Basically just drabble.


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I walked up the lengthy set of stairs, my long legs propelling me forwards. I quietly opened the metal door at the top and slipped through. I padded forwards, and peeked out from behind a wall.

He was exactly where I thought he would be. He was almost always lying around on this roof, just like a real cat. I stayed where I was and watched him. He was lying down on the ground, and his deep blue eyes were closed. Normally I’d run over to him and try to bowl him over with a hug, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it today.

Ikuto... I always say I love him. It’s true, I do love him. Ikuto’s the only one I can trust. The only person I love that hasn’t left me. Our mother betrayed us, and our father left. I want to keep him as close to me as I can, but the more I try and do that the more he tries to push me away. Sometimes I just want to scream at him and ask why he won’t just admit that he loves me too.

He’s someone safe to love. He wouldn’t leave me; at least I don’t think he would. Not that he really could because he was forced to work for Easter. Ikuto would always be there, so it was easy to love him. I didn’t want to be hurt anymore. Anyone one else could – or would – leave me, but not Ikuto. As long as I love him I can’t fall in love with anyone else who’ll hurt me.

But now Amu’s come around, and he loves her. Maybe he won’t even admit it, but he does. He’s always avoiding me, but he’d go anywhere to see her. He loves her more than me, and it breaks my heart. I don’t want to be left behind again if Ikuto decides he wants to go run off with her. I don’t want my heart broken. I wish I could hate Amu, but I can’t even do that. She’s just too nice. I consider her my rival, but I want her as a friend. Sometimes it amazes me how my stupid mind works.

I just want him to notice me, to see me. I want him to tell me that he loves me too, that he’ll always be around when I need him. Because I do need him, I really do! He used to see me when we were young and our family was happy. I know he at least used to love me, but when did it change? I don’t want anything to change, especially not between us. I want him to love me like he used to.

I stepped slowly over to him, leaving behind the cover of the wall. “Ikuto?” I questioned as I came to stand beside him.

“Mm?” Ikuto murmured, then opened open one eye to see who was there. He sat up, let out a yawn, and looked up at me. “Utau, why are you here?”

“Can I sit down?” I asked. I was scared he’d say no. I don’t want to be pushed away.

Ikuto shrugged. “I don’t care,” was all he said.

I bit my lip as I sat down. I don’t care... You don’t know how much that hurts me. I want him to care that I’m around. I want him to want to spend time with me. I leaned my head against his shoulder, and surprisingly Ikuto didn’t move or push me off.

“You sure are acting more like a sister than usual,” Ikuto commented.

Yeah... a sister. That’s what I am, his sister. I just wish he’d act more like my brother.